Trust you are doing great today
Research has found that three or more people working together on a project are much more effective than a single person spending all of his time doing the same thing. However, without communication, the three-plus team members can be as useless as if the project went untouched
Methods of communication• CRITICIZING: “Well, you brought that on yourself “. “Good for you” • NAME-CALLING: “You are a disgrace, stupid staff.“ • DIAGNOSING: “You are only saying that because you feel guilty.” • ORDERING: “Go fix that right now.”• THREATENING: “If you don’t agree to these terms, I will clip your wings.”
All of these responses judge the other person and therefore impose the speaker‘s point of view. The other person will often feel misunderstood and unsafe and is more likely to react in a defensive or self-protected manner.
MORALIZING “You ought to apologize to her.” EXCESSIVE/INAPPROPRIATE QUESTIONING “When did it happen?” “Are you sorry?” ADVISING “If I were you, this is what I would do…”
Each of the above are attempts to solve the other person’s problem. They are variously direct, manipulative, self-righteous, or coercive. Such responses may make the problem worse, or create a new issue without resolving the original problem. They also demean the other person’s capacity to handle his or her own problems and are likely to foster anxiety and resentment.
DIVERTING “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” LOGICAL ARGUMENT “If you leave your keys in the car, you can expect someone to steal it.” REASSURING “You have the tools to handle this. You’ll get over it.”
The last three responses avoid the other person’s concerns and enable us to keep an emotional distance from the person or from an uncomfortable topic.
I hope you find these tips helpful